为什么你的朋友那么少

10 Reasons Why You Don’t Have Many Friends

Finding and keeping friends in adulthood is different from the days when you played on the playground at recess. It takes work to maintain friendships over time. If you don’t have many friends, it’s important to consider the possible reasons why.

成年后交朋友与小时候是不相同的。得花时间去维持一段友谊。要是你没有很多朋友，找找原因是很重要的。

1. You Complain A Lot

你抱怨的太多

If you’re constantly complaining about your job, lack of money, or unfair life, people won’t care to spend a lot of time with you. Complaining gets old fast. Try to develop a more positive attitude and look for more interesting topics to discuss rather than what’s going wrong in your life.

要是你一直在抱怨你的工作，抱怨你没有钱花，抱怨生活的不公平的，人们是不大愿意和你做朋友的。抱怨会加速你的衰老。用积极的态度去寻找一些有趣的话题和朋友交流，而不是和朋友说生活中的缺陷。

2. You Ditch Your Friends When You’re in a Relationship

有了新朋友就忘记老朋友

If you’re guilty of ditching your friends every time you begin dating someone new, it’s likely your friends won’t sit around and wait to hear your breakup story. Instead, they’ll move on without you. It’s important to find a balance between spending time with your pals and your latest romantic interest.

要是在交新朋友的时候就开始为抛弃老朋友，你的朋友很可能会离你而去，不会再听你诉说你的故事。同样的，你的新朋友也会离开你。在爱情与友情之间找到一个平衡是很重要的。

3. You’re Selfish

你很自私

Consider whether or not being selfish contributes to the fact that you don’t have friends. Friendship requires you to give sometimes, even when you don’t feel like it. If you’re only willing to do what you want, when you want it, it’s unlikely that your friends will tolerate it for very long.

思考一下没有朋友，是不是因为你的自私。即使有时候你不怎么愿意，友谊也需要你的付出。要是你只愿意做你想做的，当你想要这份友谊的时候，你的朋友也没法长时间忍受你。

4. You Don’t Care About Your Friends

你不够关心你的朋友

If you don’t care what’s happening in your friends’ lives, your friends might not keep you around. It’s important to show interest in how your friends are doing. People will likely grow insulted if you don’t care to ask about them or you don’t care about their feelings.

要是你不关心你朋友的生活，你的朋友可能也不会关心你的生活。对你朋友的生活表现出一定的兴趣是很重要的。要是你不关心朋友，不在乎他们的感情，这对他们来说可能是种侮辱。

5. You Stir Up Drama

你爱挑起事端

If you’re guilty of stirring up trouble, it’s likely that people will try to avoid the drama. If you blame others, don’t keep secrets, or try to irritate people on purpose, you’ll likely have difficulty convincing people why they should stick around.

要是你总是挑起某种冲突，人们大多可能会选择避开这些事端。要是你公然的责备他人，或者是出于某种目的而激怒他人，即使你想让人留下来都很困难。

6. You Get Jealous

你很善妒

If you feel jealous when your friend buys a new car, gets a promotion at work, or enters into a new relationship, it’s likely going to lead to problems. It’s important to celebrate with your friends and feel happy for them when they succeed. If you’re always feeling jealous, you’re attitude will likely shine through, even if you try to hide it.

要是你嫉妒朋友买了一辆车、工作上升职了、或者是最近恋爱了，嫉妒是很容易引发问题的。当朋友获得成功后，为朋友感到高兴，和他们一起庆祝他们的成功是很有必要的。要是你总是嫉妒别人，即使你努力地隐藏了你的嫉妒，但是你的态度还是会有些强硬。

7. You Expect Too Much From Friends

你对朋友抱有太大的希望

If you expect your friends to always be available or always meet your needs, you’ll be disappointed. Your friends will hurt your feelings sometimes and will likely disappoint you from time to time. But that doesn’t meant they aren’t good people or that you shouldn’t remain friends with them. Practice forgiveness when your feelings get hurt.

要是你总期待朋友能帮你很多，那你肯定会失望的。有时你的朋友也会伤害你的感情，还可能让你一次又一次的失望。但是那并不意味着他们就不够好，并不意味着你不必再和他们做朋友。感觉受伤之后，试着遗忘会更好。

8. You Gossip

你很八卦

If you gossip non-stop, people will recognize that you likely talk about them as well. Don’t talk negatively about other people or spread rumors. Instead, show that you can be trusted to respect people’s privacy.

要是你太八卦了，人们会觉得即使是朋友你也可能八卦自己。不要谈论他人的不好，也不要散播流言。相反的，你应该尊重保护他人的隐私。

9. You Bully Your Friends

你欺负人

Bullying doesn’t end in high school for many people. If you’re guilty of bossing your friends around or making demands, it’s likely that people won’t like you. It’s okay to be assertive with people, but make sure you don’t cross the line into behaving aggressively. Respect other people’s rights and work on developing healthy relationships.

对于很多人来说，中学时代的结束并不意味着你不会在欺负他人。要是你常常指挥别人做事来满足自己，别人不喜欢你也是很有可能的。独立自主可以有，但是你不可以越过那条线，变得咄咄逼人。尊重他人的权利，建立一段良好的友谊。

10.You Don’t Get Out Enough

与人接触的时间不多

Of course, there is also a good chance that not having friends isn’t related to a specific character flaw. Instead, it might just be because you haven’t had the opportunity to meet people whose company you enjoy. If that’s the case, create opportunities to meet other people based on your interests and activities and be willing to take a chance on striking up a conversation with a stranger. It just might turn into a lifelong friendship.

当然，没有朋友并不等同于你在性格上有某种缺陷。也许只是因为你没有机会遇到那些与你志趣相投的人。要这种情况下，你就得在你的兴趣范围内、在你喜欢的活动中找机会与陌生人交流。那也可能找到一位人生挚友哦。